How to be Indian if You're Not (cont.)

So ju theenk ju are yindian now?

Random kid named Tom: Yeah buddy!
 
Well Tom...I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you're not yet.

STEPS:

1.Obsess over girls/boys:
 Like a white girl. Indians tend to set their standards really high, but in the end they always end up with that fat aunty. Basically, you may like Laura, however you always will end up with Sangeeta. Well since we are still school aged children, we can obsess over the beauty of white girls. Their personality, and physical body features. Mostly physical body features. So pick a white girl of your choice, and tell one person that you like her. The more out of your league the better. Then, tell one of your "trusted" indian friends, and he will tell the entire world. That's just perfection isn't it? So once the entire world knows, you have to throw a fit and plot revenge on your heavily "trusted" friend. Once you've got that down, you're almost Indian, but not quite. (Exact same thing for girls, but just replace the girl with an indian/white boy)

2. Lie:
When you were younger you were told to never lie. Well...since Indians are rebels we break that rule.
We lie when it comes to everything, but especially in the area of grades. The one honest indian feels stupid because all the others lie about their grades, even though that one honest kid did better. Don't be that honest kid! Indians hate the so called "Goodie-Two Shoes". I swear it'll get you pummeled, emotionally, and they MIGHT attempt to pummel you physically. Trust me, it never works. So here's a scale.
Regular: Lie

Test Grades:
100=105
A+=100
A=100
A-=100
B+=100
Yeah you get the point.

and

SAT/PSAT:

130: 160
140: 170
150: 180
160:190
170:200 and so on

That's pretty much it as far as lying goes.

3. Cheat:

Do you ever wonder why Indians are so smart? Well they are smart, but they have the urge to cheat on their tests/quizzes/standardized tests. Even if they don't cheat they'll still end up with an A, but they are very hungry for the A+. So cheating is a big thing. It's kind of like a disease. If one person sees someone cheating, they'll start too. The only exception to this is if you are a goodie goodie -_- AKA THE SNITCH WHO EVERYONE HATES. Indians are the master cheaters. They pull off the job and never get caught. A couple methods include:

The well-known "gaze" around until your eyes land on someone's paper.

"Using the bathroom"

Keeping the study sheet in your desk

Taking a picture of the answer key

Holding up your paper, so that your friend can see your answers and confirm.

Walking up to the teacher so you can see the tests from the previous block laying on her desk while "Asking a question".

Texting while taking the test

Keeping your stuff under your desk with "No help in sight"

DISCLAIMER: NARD IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU GETTING CAUGHT CHEATING IN ANY WAY.


Well that's it for today. Cya!

50th Post!

Yo Nardians, we have officially made 50 posts!  Top 10 Wide Recievers- Rohan Repala's picks was our 50th one.  Thanks for supporting us the whole way and be sure to watch out for more NARD and our new upcoming youtube channel.  We will update you with the channel ASAP.
Thanks

How To Be Indian: For Non-Indians

Note:  This is strictly information for non-Indian middle school students and is not meant to be racist.
This will teach you how to be Indian.  Just follow these easy steps and you will be on your way to Indian glory in no time.

1.  This is the first and most important step.  You seriously need to start considering your grades if you already haven't.  The Indians will not accept you if you have even one B+ on your report card.  A B+ is kind of like a bad word to Indian students.  So basically, START BUILDING YOUR GRADES, or you won't get much farther.  If you already have A's on your report card, great, you have a head start.


2.  If you pass the first step, then only can you come to this one.  This is a must.  YOU HAVE TO APPLY TO A SPECIALIZED HIGH SCHOOL.  The Indian community is always very gossipy and once they find out that you have applied to a specialized high school, then only will they start recognizing you as a fellow member in the middle school Indian society.  It is okay if you don't make it into that high school.

3.  This is the final step.  It is pretty straightforward.   All you need to do is be interested in whatever the Indian community is interested in your school.  If the Indian community is interested in Pokemon, then go ahead, buy a 3DS and start playing the newest or oldest Pokemon game( I don't really care ).  If the Indian community likes the NFL, then you better go on ahead and watch some football games and study up on nfl.com.
That is it, and remember to do these steps in order, or your screwed.  And please follow, +, and comment.

Pi(e) Time

Top 10 Wide Recievers - Rohan Repala Pick's

Here are mine:

Honorable Mention: Pierre Garcon

10. Julio Jones Atlanta Falcons
9. Vincent Jackson Tampa Bay Bucs
8. Andre Johnson Houston Texans
7. Dez Bryant Dallas Cowboys
6. Larry Fitz Arizona Cardinals
5. Demarius Thomas Denver Broncos
4. Brandon Marshall Chicago Bears
3. AJ Green Cincinnati Bengals
2. Josh Gordon Cleaveland Browns
1. Calvin Johnson Detriot Lions

Signing out,

Rohan Repala - NARD Planner and Coordinator

Top 10 Quarterbacks 2013 - Rohan Repala's Picks

Hey guys,


Here are my picks and i sort of disagree with +Nirav Jannupreddy.

Honorable Mention: Mathew Stafford

10. Tony Romo #9 (Putting him here to get everyone angry!)
9. Colin Kaepernick #7 Niners
8. Andrew Luck #12 (Placing him here cuz he isn't good in playoffs!)
7. Russel Wilson #3 Shehawks (haha Shehawks)
6. Nicky Foles #9 Eagles (I like calling him Nicky!)
5. Philip Rivers #17 Chargers
4. Aaron Rodgers #12 Packers (Only placing him this low because he didn't play the whole season)
3. Drew Brees #9 Saints
2. Tom Brady #12 P-A-T-S PATS PATS PATS
1. Peyton Manning #18 Broncos

Signing Out,

Rohan Repala - NARD Team Planner and Coordinator

how to brush teeth.

1. take brush.

2. put toothpaste preferably colgate.

3. put in mouth.

4. scrub scrub scrub

5. Voila you have brushed teeth.

how to hashtag

1. Locate hashtag on ur keyboard

2. Hit it with your wrinkled finger.

3. Voila you hit the hashtag.

how to blow balloon

1. take balloon

2. since you are weak, use a pump.

3. its pretty self explanatory from here.

4. ok for u guys who need help, just put the thing back and forth as the thing inflates.

5. Voila, you have a balloon.

6. Ask ur dad to tie it.

how to make magic

1. go to Hogwarts

2. lock harry potter in a room and steal his place.

3. voila ur magic.

Top !0 NFL Quarterbacks 2013

These are the top ten QBs of the 2013 NFL season.  This is based on value to team.
Honorable Mention:  Blaine Gabbert

10.  Colin Kaepernick #7 San Francisco 49'ers
9.  Tony Romo #9 Dallas Cowboys
8.  Russell Wilson #3 Seattle Seahawks
7.  Nick Foles #9 Philadelphia Eagles
6.  Phillip Rivers #17 San Diego Chargers
5.  Andrew Luck #12 Indianapolis Colts
4.  Tom Brady #12 New England Patriots
3.  Drew Brees #9 New Orleans Saints
2.  Aaron Rodgers #12 Green Bay Packers
1.  Peyton Manning #18 Denver Broncos

Feel free to comment if you disagree with any of the NARD teams choices on this list.

Top 10 Tight Ends NFL 2013

Recounting the top 10 Tight Ends of the 2013 NFL season

Honorable mention:  Anthony Fasano

10.  Jordan Reed #85 Washington Redskins
9.  Kyle Rudolph #82 Minnesota Vikings
8.  Jordan Cameron #80 Cleveland Browns
7.  Greg Olsen #88 Carolina Panthers
6.  Antonio Gates #85 San Diego Chargers
5.  Jason Witten #82 Dallas Cowboys
4.  Vernon Davis #85 San Francisco 49'ers
3.  Rob Gronkowski #87 New England Patriots
2.  Julius Thomas #80 Denver Broncos
1.  Jimmy Graham #80 New Orleans Saints

This was put together in order of how valuable each player was to his respective teams
Feel free to comment if you disagree with any of my choices

Wazzzzz up

Yo Nardians now is the time where you guys can choose what we make.  Leave a comment on any of our latest posts and we will be sure to read it.  Also follow so that we know that you guys are supporting us.  We are closing in on 2000 page views and I can't wait to make even more.

NARD